Has anyone had the experience of being misjudged or misunderstood, because people don't really know you or bother to get to know you? I've had that experience quite a few times in my life. More so since I've moved here. The truth is that nobody here knows me. No that it's everybody else's fault. As you all know, I'm a very private person. The rest. Well, they just never bothered to get to know me.
I've mentioned many times that I've been raised with strict British ways. What that means is that I've been raised with proper etiquette. Now, we have never ever used the E word in my family. It's a big no no. Anyone who's been raised this way will tell you that it's not something you talk about. Most people don't know that there's way more to etiquette than just using the proper utensils at the dinner table. It's basically a way of life. Not gonna lie. I am very very proper (my oldest closest BFF {who I've know most of my life}will confirm this. she gets quite a kick out of it 😂) I've had a few people think that I'm a snob over the years (of course they're people who didn't know me that well). Once they got to know me, they actually apologized for misjudging me because they come to find out that I'm just a fun, friendly, laid back kinda girl.
I will admit though that I do hold the utensils in the wrong hands. I've always wanted to be left handed. I thought that it was one of the coolest things when I was a kid 😂 I even tried to write with my left hand, but my already ugly handwriting was even worse with my left hand 😂 We are taught to eat with the proper utensils from an early age. I was about 6 or 7 when my father finally caved (gave up on trying to teach me the correct way to eat 😂 I should mention that he had the patience of a saint) & let me eat like a left handed person - knife in left hand, fork in right hand. I at least eat the right way 😂 My mother would sometimes switch her utensils (cut the food with knife and fork, then put down knife and switch the fork to the other hand. I don't know why she did this sometimes, because she knew the proper way to eat) and I could see my father cringe inwardly. I cringe when people do that too. To me, it's just wrong.
So my personality is that of very reserved & polite, yet friendly (to those who aren't close to me). I don't just let my hair down or share my personal life with anyone, until they get really close to me. I don't do this intentionally. It's just who I am. You will always see me doing the right thing too. I'm totally against stealing anyone's thunder - weddings, showers, presentations or any other special event or occasion. It's in very very poor taste to do that. It's that person(s)'s special day. You always have to dress & act accordingly. If I unintentionally do the wrong thing or misunderstood the assignment, I immediately correct it. It would bother me (drive me nuts) if I didn't. In fact, I hate the spotlight. I'm really uncomfortable with attention. I've had it for most of my life and never cared for it. I'll just politely take whatever pat on the back/praise people want to give me and move on. I prefer to be behind the scenes. I'll push everyone else into the spotlight (whether I'm helping them or just encouraging or motivating them) and let them enjoy the praise. I've lived in a fish bowl for most of my life and didn't care for it. I'm not ungrateful for who I am/we are. I just don't like all the attention and I especially don't like all the judging. To this day, people still judge us and hold us to a higher standard. Never mind that they're doing far worse things than we are.
I'm not gonna lie. There are many things that I'll frown upon, but you will never know about it. Why, because it's in poor taste to call anyone out too. There are many things about my mannerisms that I can't explain here. Just know that I'll always choose to do the right thing. I always put my best foot forward. People might not always understand it, but it's what I do. My father would've been proud of me. I took all those lessons heart 😂
I have many close friends who still don't know all that much about me. No, I'm not secretive or hiding anything. There is a HUGE difference between being private & being secretive. Heck, my BF knows a lot more about me than they do. That says a helluva lot about what he means to me, because I don't share my personal life with just any old body. So when I'm closed off to others, it's nothing personal. It's just how I was raised.
Now, the other thing is that most people jump to all kinds of wrong conclusions about me, because they never bothered to get to know me. I'm not gonna lie, it hurts when people do that (boy I'm being very vulnerable right now), because I never treat others that way. I always believe in getting to know people and not judging them for anything. I actually don't go around judging others. It's not my nature. I choose to believe the best in others. I will also not judge someone based on whatever bad things anyone told me about them. I don't play that game. I will get to know that person for myself.
I really don't want to be too vulnerable here (I really don't like to show my weaknesses to others), but I wanted to ask. Has anybody had the experience of being misjudged by people who won't bother to get to know you. I can understand people judging others (not that I agree with it), because they don't know you. I just don't care much for those who misjudge you because they CHOOSE to not get to know you.
In my experience, I've found that the BEST and/or nicest people (those who make the best friends and/or partners) are the ones who are misjudged or misunderstood. I wish that people would take time to get to know others, because they might just find them to be real gems.
Okay, I'm off my soapbox now. I need to catch some beauty sleep peeps 😴